BUDS DIGEST 005 / FEATURE
SPRING TRIPPING WITH CHRISTEENE
In conversation with DAVE
Photographed by SAMUEL MCGUIRE
Christeene & Dave photographed by Samuel McGuire in New York, NY. March 2022.
Innovative and eye-catching artist, musician and muse, CHRISTEENE regales and repulses in this otherworldly recap of her bud DAVE MCGILL’s first trip to New York City.
The two southerners let loose, talking culture, art and the many sights and smells of touring town. CHRISTEENE, whose new full band album arrives this summer, makes sure Dave gets the quintessential New York experience in this post-structural journal for Buds Digest. Follow CHRISTEENE and DAVE down memory lane – just watch your step.
CHRISTEENE: i think wee should let tha people out there know that wee got no business conductin this interview.
DAVE MCGILL: None.
CHRISTEENE: Together, let alone with anyone else, but tha people of Bud’s Magazine [sic] have trusted an encrusted us with tha dutiful tasks of speaking too each other.
DM: Wait, you mean some stoners that own a stoner magazine want someone else to do the work for them? Unheard of.
CHRISTEENE: Now I'm aware that tha people reading this magazine are (A) probably stoned and (2) have no clue who the fuck you are.
DM: I agree.
CHRISTEENE: Why don't you tell the people reading – I'm gunna put in captions *coughing* every time you cough – tell these people what the fuck is your name and where the fuck you are from! Tell them somethin about yourself!
DM: I'm Dave McGill. I'm from the deep south.
CHRISTEENE: Oh, you're bein mysterious.
DM: And I love marijuana and this is CHRISTEENE.
CHRISTEENE: You don't like to live on tha grid.
DM: True.
CHRISTEENE: So, it would make sense for you to not tell tha readers where you're from.
DM: I'm always on the move. I live in the woods.
CHRISTEENE: Oh, like me being from tha woods? You're gonna take that? You're gonna steal mah fuckin tack? Okay. So basically if anyone wants to meet Dave, good luck. As I'm speakin to him now he is truly in a trailer that he redesigned. It's a beautiful Airstream. And it is truly in tha woods and not only woods, but you are at a gay nude campground. I'm not gonna say where it is. I'm not gonna blow your cover. It's not like tha poor fucks could use some business, but we're not gunna exploit where you are, but you are in tha woods.
You just froze up. Can you hear me?
I have never had [internet] problems in this apartment that I'm squattin in. And tha minute wee do this, everythin goes to shit! We were talkin about you redesignin your trailer.
DM: Well, I didn't do the work, but I designed it.
CHRISTEENE: What do you mean you didn't do tha work?
DM: Well, I didn't weld the frame and…
CHRISTEENE: I thought you did all that stuff.
DM: Yeah, I was welding, girl. You know me and my welder.
“I have fucked a weed plant, yes. If that’s what you’re asking.”
CHRISTEENE: We were supposed to come up with conversational questions for each other an I came up with some questions for you. Have you thought of anythin to talk to me about?
DM: Yes.
CHRISTEENE: Okay… Then I don't quite know tha order of this. It feels like I am moderatin this now.
DM: I'll start it off.
CHRISTEENE: Well, we've already started.
DM: Tell me about your tattoos.
CHRISTEENE: My tattoos? All of them? I have a bomb on my left shoulder. It looks like uh diva cup or a piece of ham.
DM: I thought it had something to do with honey.
CHRISTEENE: No, you see people think it's a honey pot, a diva cup, or a moon cup, if you people know what that is. Or a piece of ham. It's a bomb: B.O.M.B. bomb. And it's from my friend Iva Gueorguieva’s paintings. She's from Bulgaria. She went through crazy shit when she was young and that's bombs from her paintins. They look like cow's teats fallin. They also look like the things that stop cars on Houston Street in New York; tha little bells on tha sidewalk, which you saw. And then tha one on my right arm is bee which would make you think tha other one was a honey pot, which it’s not.
DM: Exactly.
CHRISTEENE: And then I got some rings on my forearm that aren't for fistin. They're actually for me and my two dancers, Tea Gravel and C Baby, back on tourin days. That's me in tha middle and that's them on tha other side. Then I found out it's a big old fistin thing too. So, fuck it. But I have fisted before so I can be in tha club. And then tha one on my leg is tha one I'm sure you're fishin for. That is tha tattoo of Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote, a show that you introduced me to. I got so obsessed with Jessica Fletcher. I think you have a big toe or a finger on the pulse of life sometimes. And Jessica saved my life. She saved me from depression. Or, you kind of did. She did too.
DM: And who's the artist of that because it's really a phenomenal tattoo.
CHRISTEENE: Oh, her name is Sarah Gregory. She lives in London. She tattooed it on a couch. She used to be a tattoo artist in the proper sense in a store. And she said there's a big mafia that controls everything and they control tattoo parlors. They’d always come in and they'd be really mean to women. She was one of the few women in London who had her own place and they fucked with her so much, she said “fuck this,” and started doin it on her own. So we laid on a couch at my friend Lyle's Hakaraia at Vogue Fabrics listenin to Marlene Dietrich on repeat for five hours.
DM: I'm really sorry I asked.
CHRISTEENE: Yeah, that was a lot. I don't know how to talk briefly. Do you recall tha first time we met?
DM: You were hosting a garage sale.
CHRISTEENE trips at Rick Owens, New York. March 2022.
CHRISTEENE: What?
DM: At the bar I used to work at, The Chain Drive, for Stanley Roy and Bradford Brown.
CHRISTEENE: Because they were moving out!
DM: They were going somewhere.
CHRISTEENE: They were moving or somebody was in trouble or something.
DM: Someone needed cable and internet.
CHRISTEENE: And I hosted it as CHRISTEENE… myself?
DM: Well, no.
CHRISTEENE: Well, let's just say I did. That’s nice. That's where we met.
DM: Oh, the first time me and you met, you were actually Rebecca.
CHRISTEENE: Can we say that?
DM: I don't think so cause you're CHRISTEENE…
CHRISTEENE: So, you have to think about when you first met me.
DM: There's so many fucking of you.
CHRISTEENE: Well, when did you meet me, CHRISTEENE!?
DM: I don't know.
CHRISTEENE: See…
DM: I do not know.
CHRISTEENE: That's, you know, that's somethin to think about. Well, I met you at Chain Drive. Which is the best bar in New York. I mean in Austin. I'm in New York.
DM: Yeah. R.I.P. Chain Drive.
CHRISTEENE: Have you always been a weed person?
DM: I started smoking weed pretty young, at 15. But I'm from the border of Texas and Mexico and it was available. It was cheap and it was horrible compared to the weed now.
CHRISTEENE: So you dedicated your life to findin better weed?
DM: I did. It's been my entire life’s mission.
CHRISTEENE: I would say this is true because you grow weed now.
DM: I do.
CHRISTEENE: And you have quite a love for it.
DM: I have a fucked a weed plant, yes. If that’s what you're asking,
CHRISTEENE: Do you have names for your plants and do you have one that's better than tha other? One that you like more?
DM: I don't.
CHRISTEENE: Okay. Well then fuck that question. You can talk to me too! We're just having a conversation for the public people. I know it's hard for us to do because we usually just sit around and laugh and get high.
DM: I know we just watch TV and giggle.
CHRISTEENE: Well, you show me bad TV.
DM: I love bad TV. It's part of stoner culture. What's your latest bad TV show you like?
CHRISTEENE: Well, because of you, I been watching Picket Fences and I watched three episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race because of you. This is why I'm chanting Tina Turner now in my house because I've been watching Picket Fences and RuPaul's Drag Race and I really am concerned.
DM: And by the way, I've been trying to get you to watch RuPaul's Drag Race for how many years?
CHRISTEENE: I think about five.
DM: Or longer, much longer.
CHRISTEENE: I mean, I meet them. I have to stay away from those series.
DM: You get sucked in.
CHRISTEENE: And then those children on the show, I feel for them, I have too many feelins. They're so young and being abused by tha machine, you know?
DM: Some of them are abusing us.
CHRISTEENE: And some of them are abusing the machine back. But yeah, I would say, Picket Fences, really is tha epitome…
DM: Of bad.
CHRISTEENE: And it's very interestin, speakin of young kids getting abused by the machine. Picket Fences is set in the nineties and the nineties are back, as tha kids say. Like all these people are wearin stupid mom jeans, high water ankle mom jeans an torn up knees and stuff. And now Picket Fences is kind of like tha most important chronicle I could be researchin to see what's gonna happen next.
DM: Well, I was on the border so everything was late.
CHRISTEENE: Oh, that's true. I was in Louisiana. I was down south. Everything was also late. Picket Fences is probably the worst thing you've ever introduced me to but it's like tha best drug I've ever had.
DM: Where do you come from?
CHRISTEENE: Like you said, tha woods. I am from tha south too. And you and I met in Austin, Texas and Austin, Texas is one of my first memory places. I'm more of a Louisiana creature as I've allowed myself to discover myself more in this life. But you and I met in Austin, Texas.
DM: I met you and you reminded me a lot of your alley cat
CHRISTEENE: Tickles Pickles!
DM: Yeah. But you've both grown
CHRISTEENE: Rags ta riches. But, I'm not rich. That's for sure. I'm spiritually rich and I have good friends all around and I've had the happiness to travel around tha world. So, I call that rich.
DM: Rags to Marshalls. Rags to Ross Dress for Less.
CHIRSTEENE: Rags ta Piccadilly Cafeteria. I'm rich in many things, but not financially. I know you're richer than me….through marriage.
DM: In weed. Through marriage and through weed, exactly.
CHRISTEENE: That's what they call a Successful Southern Woman (SSW).
DM: Oh, thank you.
CHRISTEENE: It's hard to read questions when we're on a roll. I don't know what to say.
DM: You're confusing me.
CHRISTEENE: I'm tryin to give these people a decent conversation. I was gonna ask you to tell them about tha story you told me when you ate all tha fiber gummies.
DM: Oh my god. No.
CHRISTEENE: Y'all, Dave likes sweets an shitty food. He came and stayed with me in New York City for his first trip. The table was covered in candy and jelly beans and chips that tasted like things that shouldn't be in chips and stuff. It was fun. I got really high, tha whole time. We got Krispy Kreme jelly beans. Dave, one time – he told me this tha other day, this is hot off tha press – that he was at home and he wanted sweets and all he had were fiber gummies. You were so high…
DM: I just kept eating those gummies, thinking that nothing really horrible would happen.
CHRISTEENE: And you ate 10 of 'em. And then you told me that you pooped so much that your butthole was… heaving? What was it?
DM: It was like dry heaving.
CHRISTEENE: Dry heaving! And I just picture, like, remember when we were little and we watched Looney Tune cartoons?
DM: Yeah.
CHRISTEENE: I pictured a Looney Tune cartoon of Bugs Bunny and you just see his butt heaving – heaving.
DM: It was very scary for a moment.
CHRISTEENE: I think that's a good story that our readers need to know. I thought you were telling me you ate 10 weed fiber gummies. I was like, oh my god, he's out of his mind and shittin everywhere. And I pictured your couch covered in poo-poo. You would've had to have blamed tha dogs and told your partner that tha dogs did it. And he would believe you.
Did you have fun visitin me in New York City?
DM: I did. It was a lot of fun. I was happy to see a rat.
CHRISTEENE: A rat.
DM: I saw two, I saw one in the subway and one at your house.
CHRISTEENE: Yes. This is true.
DM: Outside. Outside.
CHRISTEENE:: Do you remember all tha places we went?
DM: Absolutely not.
CHRISTEENE: No. ‘Cause we were high.
DM: We were high and it was nice to go visit someone that knows it like the back of their hand. ‘Cause all I had to do was follow the back of your head.
CHRISTEENE: I know it like the back of my hand, so you can follow the back of my head.
DM: We got off subways to get on other subways and I just followed you. I didn't read signs.
CHRISTEENE: Do you have a memory of a moment that you liked? Do you remember any of it?
DM: Yeah, I really do. One, I liked meeting your friends at the bar over by your house, Jess.
CHRISTEENE: I don't have a friend named Jess. Oh, Jess Quevas, who was here visiting from Los Angeles for a fashion show!
DM: And I loved going on the ferry doing the photo shoot because I'm a ferry queen. I just loved it all. It was really nice.
CHRISTEENE: Is there anythin you didn't like?
DM: No, I loved everything about it. Even the man who scratched himself until he started bleeding. And then he put his hand in his pants, like he was touching his wiener with the bloody hand. It was weird.
CHRISTEENE: For all of our readers out there Dave experienced a traumatic subway experience.
DM: And that subway wouldn't move.
CHRISTEENE: It was not just because we were high as a kite. We were at Port Authority Bus Terminal and there were characters around as there are. We don't even need to go into it. Why are we? Why am I describing it? We just said someone was scratchin their arm and bleedin. But it was Dave's first experience at tha Port Authority Bus Terminal and you all know how attractive that can be.
DM: I enjoyed it.
CHRISTEENE: I know you did ‘cause you’re a sick stoner. We did smoke a lot that day.
DM: We did.
CHRISTEENE: I am not a smoker like you.
DM: I do smoke too much.
CHRISTEENE: No, let's not say too much.
DM: If there is such a thing.
CHRISTEENE: I have been thinkin a lot these days about personal guilt and ya know. Let this be known. You shouldn't say you smoke too much. You should just say “boy, I sure love to smoke a lot, but sometimes I should do other things.”
DM: Which is true. And I have. Now I have moved to dabs! I'm starting to not even smoke weed and I just do dabs.
CHRISTEENE: Can we talk about that? You do dabs.
DM: Yeah.
CHRISTEENE: I don't quite know how to explain dabs to y'all but it involves a butane torch. Propane or butane? What's tha difference?
DM: Who knows? They know how to do it! You don't have to describe how to.
CHRISTEENE: I like to talk a lot. Dave does dabs.
DM: Everybody knows dabs. It’s like a Broadway song. “Everybody Knows Dabs.”
CHRISTEENE: It’ll be my next song. Next to tha “old man” song. Many of y'all don't understand, but Dave really has his finger on tha pulse because he watches so much trash and listens to so much shit, it's somehow developed a radar inside of him. He makes suggestions, a lot of suggestions to me and they sometimes often work.
DM: (singing and coughing) We’re a duuuuo. We’re a duuuuo!
CHRISTEENE: That is true. We're workin on a project right now, y'all that involves some amazin people in it that are dead now. We're gonna hopefully create a series for y'all, me and Dave. Right?
DM: I'm looking forward to it.
CHRISTEENE: And our dream is that Trey Parker and Matt Stone will use their production company to pick up me and Dave. This is true. CHRISTEENE and Dave are writin some shit and our dream is Trey and Matt will, uh, what do they call that, green light it?
DM: I hope their dabs are stronger.
CHRISTEENE: Yeah, me too. We're very busy. But this is the first time we've really gotten creative together. Usually we just get high together. Now we're getting high and creative.
DM: Yeah. We've done some things.
CHRISTEENE: No, we have, we have been very creative together, but this is a first real kind-of, as they say in school, pen to paper.
DM: Yes, exactly. School. Tell me more about that.
CHRISTEENE: Y'all know school sucks. I'm not talking about school. That shit sucks.
DM: Tell me about the love of your life. They've appeared on your album.
CHRISTEENE: Tickles Pickles?
DM: Tickles Pickles.
CHRISTEENE: I took Tickles Pickles on a walk today. As you know he's about to get on an airplane because I'm going to fly down south for a festival and I'm bringing him down south to get some medical treatment. It's cheaper down there.
DM: What's he getting done? His nose?
CHRISTEENE: He's gonna get the full, the full..I'm getting his chin refurbished. I’m gonna get a Barbara Streisand implant on his nails. I was just walkin him down the street. Remember down the street where the ball factory is? It's got thA coffee and bento boxes and shit. I just sat down outside with him on their bench and they all came out. All the workers were like, “looook at the cat.” And tickles came out of thA bag. Tickles is my cat. And he's nice.
DM: Tickles is your cat.
CHRISTEENE: I said all that, just to say Tickles is my cat. It's called high. Dave is the one who encouraged me to care for Tickles when he was very muscular with big cheeks in tha alley that I was living in at the time.
DM: Very scabby.
CHRISTEENE: So scabby. And he would beat up dogs. These women would come out of tha hair salon that I lived behind with little dogs and Tickles would hide behind bushes and jump over the bushes and land on top of tha dog. Tha women would scream and tha dog would scream. I saw him one night killin a frog too. It was really beautiful. It was in the rain. He's my babe and we're gonna go get some work done on him so he can live longer. He's just got some lumps I gotta take care of. He's old.
DM: I'm sure he'll be fine.
CHRISTEENE: He is in songs and he will be in more.
DM: Are you ready to fly with Tickles Pickles?
CHRISTEENE: No, but my friend gave me some drugs. I'm gonna be very nervous. I'm nervous enough when I get on a plane ‘cause they look at me like I'm gonna rob the whole thing. Like “look, it's a raccoon woman carrying an animal!” It's not healthy. So, I'm gonna take some Xanax and hopefully be okay. What could go wrong?
DM: What could go wrong?
CHRISTEENE: I'll eat 10 gummy fibers and take some Xanax.
DM: I recommend that.
CHRISTEENE: Could you imagine? That’s tha high club…tha sky high club. What's that called? The sky mile club?
DM: The mile high club.
CHRISTEENE: Do you have to get high to have sex? Or do you like to have sex with no high? I was wondering about stoners. Does that have to play into sex?
DM: It does not, but I'm a wake-and-bake.
CHRISTEENE: You don't have a choice.
CHRISTEENE and Jessica Fletcher
DM: I don't really have a choice.
CHRISTEENE: What's tha longest you've gone without weed? And what did it do to you?
DM: Well, here’s a story. The longest I went without weed was probably two weeks. I just become an asshole. Let me say this, my husband was like, “hey, can I buy you some weed?”
CHRISTEENE: Wow.
DM: So it's medicinal for me.
CHIRSTEENE: Well that’s good ta know.
DM: I don’t drink. I do not smoke cigarettes.
CHRISTEENE: No, bless you.
DM: They're gross.
CHRISTEENE:I know. I sure do like 'em.
DM: I'm a stoner through and through. And you are a late-night toker.
CHRISTEENE: I'm a late-night toker. If I'm gonna do it durin the day, I like to eat it because then I feel like a little child in a field. But when I smoke, I like to be at home alone with Tickles and it's my favorite cozy time. I usually like to watch my things that I watch over and over and over and over again, but you are trying to break me of that habit.
DM: I'm trying to break you of that habit.
CHRISTEENE: Many of y'all out there might understand this. Some of us creative souls like to have tha same thing on over and over. I like to put in Caged (1950), which is an old women's prison movie. I like that to be on all the time. I'm a little embarrassed to say some of the things I have on and on, but I also like to put music on and have something on the machine with no sound and just watch it. I watch All About Eve (1950) a lot. That's a Bettie Davis movie.
DM: My favorite part of my visit to New York – can I tell you my favorite moment? Is when you stepped in that human shit in the park and it was literally the size of a hot dog. And it stayed solid.
CHRISTEENE: We were in Central Park, which you’d never been to. They got those giant rocks. I don't know when it was, but I stepped in a big, massive amount of shit.
DM: Giant, giant.
CHRISTEENE: When we sat down, we looked down at my Rick Owens shoe and there was, tha size of a jumbo hot dog, hanging off the bottom of my geo basket.
DM: That was my favorite moment. I felt like this is real New York.
CHRISTEENE: That and tha man scratching his bloody arm. I think those two moments truly were your most real New York moments.
DM: That and the rat outside of your house, which I captured on film. It was just a lucky moment.
CHRISTEENE: You captured the rat on film?
DM: I did. I'll send it to you. You’re in it.
CHRISTEENE: It's probably just me and you thought it was a rat.
DM: You're scurrying across the street.
CHRISTEENE: Do you have any other questions for me? I sure have been talking a lot. I always do.
DM: Do you know when your album comes out?
CHRISTEENE: Well done. Well played. I'm done with tha album. I recorded it last year. You've heard it.
DM: I've heard it. It's fantastic.
CHRISTEENE: Damn right, you better say that on this fuckin thing. But, it really is. It makes me so happy. It makes me feel excited and yes, tha album will be in tha public's hands or heads around summertime, which is right around tha corner. It's gonna get everybody through all of tha devil-days that are on their way with tha midterms and you name it. Tha toilet. Tha world is a toilet fire and every time you flush it, toilet shit flies out of tha tank too. And then the album will be good for that. I just got really high, so I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
DM: You lost me but this toilet sounds interesting.
CHRISTEENE: I'm so excited because it's live. I worked with musicians, saxophones and crazy shit.
DM: I met one of the musicians.
CHRISTEENE: At Fantastic Planet (1973) together. That badass cartoon.
DM: Yes. In New York City.
CHRISTEENE: See, you just remembered somethin!
