The hours that exist before sleep are some of my most cherished units of time in my day. It is what I call my ‘thinking time’. I learned of this idea from an interview with Vivienne Westwood who spoke about the importance of carving out time daily just for reflection. She chooses the early hours of the day to lay in bed in contemplation – I enjoy the stillness of dusk. It is in this time I will meditate, mend or sometimes masturbate; it is a time for mulling over ‘m’ words that also could be used in this sentence – but it a designated space and time to explore myself and the ideas I am attracted too. 

In days where I feel chaotic and lack grounding, I will allow myself to be the witness being lead by some of the visual masters of horyness. I will roll a joint – find a safe space without the horrors of overhead lighting - and sit in the silence of myself while watching some of the following films on mute and focusing solely on their visual splendor: 

Elephant (Gus Van Sant). Hustler White (Bruce LaBruce). Totally F***ed Up (Gregg Araki). Shame (Steve McQueen). Pink Narcissus (James Bidgood). Bad Education (Pedro Almodevar). Midnight Dancers (Mel Chionglo). Before Night Falls (Julian Schnabel). A Single Man (Tom Ford). Polyester (John Waters). Matthias & Maxime (Xavier Dolan). God’s Own Country (Francis Lee). Mala Noche (Gus Van Sant).

Between the silence, the smoke of the joint and the films constellation of lights sequencing across the television screen you begin to experience the hands of each director play the famed story arch of The Pied Piper seducing you to follow the flute – in many of these movies it’s a skin flute. Where do they take you? What does the image tell you of your own relationship with pleasures? That often depends where you want to go - but from my experience these films will take you to a kaleidoscope of hornyness. 

I also sometimes use this time to clean my VCR.

-CHRISTOPHER SHERMAN