The Gold and Silver Dream with TODD EDWARDS and MYSTIC AYTCH

They don’t call Todd Edwards ‘Todd the God’ for nothing. He all but invented U.K. garage music, has collaborated with Daft Punk twice on two of their most iconic songs, and won a GRAMMY for Record of the Year for his work on Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories. Defective Records is currently re-releasing a mountain of his classic tracks to great acclaim.

His latest collaboration with his life partner Michael Horgan, aka Mystic Aytch, finds him stretching his production skills into pop and indie rock. Over dinner and drinks near their home in Silver Lake in Los Angeles, Todd and Michael discussed the inspiration behind their new project, the story of their romance, and Todd’s long, inspiring road to self-acceptance.

JOSHUA SANCHEZ: Michael, ‘Herbology’ is the first song you’ve released as Mystic Aytch, and it’s about weed. You must be a connoisseur. 

MICHAEL HORGAN: I am, but not remarkably so. It's for therapy. It helps me feel less anxious. It helps with depression. I tend to go towards hybrids and sativas. I'm not that into the indicas. I’ve grown it a few times. I want people to get rid of the stigma of cannabis. 

TODD EDWARDS: It’s a very genuine and endearing song. It isn't a glorification of weed or making it a party thing. When you reached out to Michael, I thought that was perfect because weed doesn't agree with me much, but he’s really into it. 

SANCHEZ: I don't smoke much weed either. 

EDWARDS: We have another couple of songs almost ready to be released. I'm looking forward to seeing his work blossom and believe in his songwriting and voice. When I initially worked with Daft Punk on Random Access Memories, Thomas and Guy-Manuel gave me a spare laptop. At the time, I had an old Mac G5. This laptop was ten times faster than that. For them, it was nothing, but to me, it was transformative. Thomas said, “It'll make me feel good to know you're making good music.” I used it for two years and then needed to upgrade it, so I passed it on to Michael. Now he's popping out five or six songs a day! 

It's like indie electronic mixed with rock influences like Beach House, The Beach Boys, Adele, and Amy Winehouse. I told him, “I want to change this because I’m not crazy about the sound.” He’d say, “I want that in there!” I wouldn't put up with that with anyone but Beyoncé. I was like, “You realize I'm well-known for my production?” 

SANCHEZ: Are you into dance music at all, Michael? 

HORGAN: I got a little bit into the trance thing. I like pop music. I want to hear the story and the lyrics in pop. I like to sing along to it. A lot of dance music doesn't have a lyric aspect. 

EDWARDS: He just wrote an album's worth of material that's going through a phase of emotions from his internal struggles to our relationship. Initially, we were supposed to release a track called 'On a Journey' on the spring equinox. Then he wanted to get 'Herbology' out for the summer. He's got this mystical spirituality thing, which is a very genuine part of him. He's dabbled in the occult. 

HORGAN: Alchemy. Transmutation. Making something out of nothing, changing something into something else. Taking pain and turning it into something new.

EDWARDS: He's turned his music into therapy for past rough times and past trauma. It's been very therapeutic. Many of his songs have to do with crucial times in his life. 

SANCHEZ: Is there a theme to the album? 

HORGAN: It has to do with a meditative experience. I want it to feel spiritual. I don't consider myself religious at all, even though I was raised Catholic, and I think that's why I researched alchemy to begin with. Being forced to take a liturgy class in school made me want to understand and question the tenets of my life. 

SANCHEZ: Is it true that your first date was at the Grammys? 

HORGAN: It was our second date. I went to the after-party. 

SANCHEZ: That's pretty baller, Todd. I'll casually win Record of the Year on our second date. 

EDWARDS: When I was younger, I was very conflicted about my sexuality. After I moved out to L.A., my spirituality wasn't making me happy. I wanted to explore this side of myself that I deprived myself of. I didn't think it was possible to find someone who wanted to be monogamous. Then, all of a sudden, I met him. I started acting like a schoolboy. Should I call? Shouldn't I call? Then, I pulled a high school maneuver. I asked, “Do you want to come to the Grammy afterparty?” I wanted to impress him. 

SANCHEZ: Was it impressive? 

HORGAN: Yeah! Oh my god. 

EDWARDS: I spent most of the night in the middle bar, hanging out with him and getting drunk. I missed seeing all these famous actors and actresses that were there. He is more important to me than that. It was one of the most unforgettable nights that I've ever had. In January, it'll be ten years since we’ve been together. How long have you been married? 

SANCHEZ: We got married in May. 

EDWARDS: Congratulations! Michael wants to have a small wedding. 

HORGAN: It would be nice if my parents could come. 

SANCHEZ: I never thought that I would ever be married. 

EDWARDS: Why do you say that? 

SANCHEZ: You couldn't for a long time. Have your parents met Michael? 

EDWARDS: Yes. When I first brought him over, he was a "friend" for at least two or three years. My parents are 83 and 85. They are not hostile towards Michael, and they do the best they can with the perimeters that they can deal with. I'm a deconstructed Christian. I learned that phrase on TikTok. I grew up in a very conservative, religious house. I needed therapy just to come to terms with accepting myself—Michael's very understanding of the whole situation. The only thing holding us back from getting married is the engagement ring he wants. 

HORGAN: What?! 

EDWARDS: He likes this engagement ring, and he told me during the pandemic when there was no money. 

HORGAN: I’ve just got to say this. I make my own rings. 

SANCHEZ: Oh, wow! Those are awesome rings! 

HORGAN: I originally wanted to make my own ring, but he doesn't like that idea. 

EDWARDS: I do so like it! I just want to make good on getting that engagement ring! 

HORGAN: Don't stress yourself. 

EDWARDS: I'm not! 

HORGAN: I'm totally making my own ring. 

EDWARDS: You're not making your own engagement ring! Anyway, I'm devoted. We're both devoted. I treat it like marriage.

SANCHEZ: Todd, you grew up in New Jersey, inventing U.K. garage music in your bedroom. Were you going to New York and seeing your DJ heroes? 

EDWARDS: I would go to the Sound Factory Bar on a Wednesday night. Little Louie Vega would spin at the Underground Network party hosted by Barbara Tucker and Althea McQueen. You had the Masters at Work, Todd Terry. They were my idols. MK and David Cole from C&C Music Factory would show up sometimes. You knew it was a good night when David Cole showed up. 

Louie would always play new music. I would look into the booth and see what records he was playing. I wish younger audiences had the experience of going to a club and hearing unreleased music. It was a coveted thing when a DJ had an unreleased track. People do not get the same rise now out of hearing an unreleased track the way they do hearing something they know and filming themselves at the club for social media. 

SANCHEZ: You must have also met and been around many gay people in that scene. 

EDWARDS: I was, but I wasn't living the New York life. I was a suburbanite and lived with my parents for a long time. I made music and became a workaholic so as not to deal with that part of my life. I went to therapy to try not to be gay. I was one of those. I was paranoid about AIDS before I could even get AIDS. I had OCD when I was 13 years old. I'm nowhere near as strong, and I would almost say cowardly compared to those bold enough to open the doors for us to be here. 

I got to a place of acceptance, but it took me a long time. I had to go through this whole process of trying it, not really being sure about it, going back into the closet for 15 years, and then coming back out and then going to therapy just to have the self-love that I needed to deal with it. I'm still kind of conservative. I don't try to exploit that side of myself. I consider my sexuality to be a part of who I am but not the center hub. There is a documentary in the works that explores my conflict over my sexuality, religion, my music and how they all work together. 

SANCHEZ: I'm so glad that your story is getting out there. 

EDWARDS: U.K. garage, the music scene that I'm known for inventing or being one of the inventors, was very alpha male, almost like the Italians that I grew up with, but English-based. What was a turning point for me was coming out to L.A. I played A Club Called Rhonda, which is still going on. The people who throw it are close friends, and the party is very fluid. They call it polysexual. 

I feel like one of the straightest gay guys you'll ever meet. I'm not good at dressing. I'm not very fancy, and I don't have some of the clique characteristics of a gay man. I'm still part of it because I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man. You seem kind of like the same way, Josh. You're very chill. 

SANCHEZ: I also grew up in a very macho Mexican-American family in Texas. My dad's side were all in the church. I didn't grow up to feel very secure with myself. When I moved to New York City, I saw many people comfortable with themselves. It was a process of figuring out who I was. 

EDWARDS: You're preaching to the choir with that one, my friend. I didn't want anyone to look at me differently. I was most concerned with what my nephew, who is 31 now, would say. I helped raise him. The night I told my sister I had a boyfriend, my nephew was in the other room, and he heard me. He was devastated that I didn't confide in him. He was like, “After all that we've been through.” He didn't understand. The idea of someone that you love so much looking at you differently. It would have devastated me. Whether it was right or wrong for him to feel that way is irrelevant. 

I talked to him the next day, and he was choking up on the phone. He was like, “I don't give a shit.” He said, “You're my uncle, and I love you, and you’re one of the most important people in my life.” My therapist told me that once you tell your family, no matter what their response is, you're going to feel a weight lifted. He was right. 

SANCHEZ: Absolutely. 

EDWARDS: Unfortunately, I faced this personal conflict when I won a Grammy. I wasn't living a double life, but I wasn't sharing what was happening with my parents. When it would have been a great time to have an album ready, I didn't. It took several years for me to share it with them. Once I did, I was able to write a lot quicker. 

You know how sometimes family members will know - he's probably gay? I didn't even know! It would have been so much easier if a family member said - you know what, Todd, I could be wrong, but I kind of feel like you're attracted to guys. I want you to know that it's okay. No one did that. It's a horrible feeling when you're afraid of how they will react. You feel alone. 

SANCHEZ: What was your experience like, Michael? 

HORGAN: I went to a private Catholic school. I was an altar server. 

EDWARDS: And you know what happens with that! 

HORGAN: That never happened to me, but I started dating a guy in my grade, and everyone in the school found out. Then I had to come out to my parents. 

SANCHEZ: I can't even imagine. 

HORGAN: My mom was concerned because she didn't want me to have a difficult life. My dad was okay with it, which was surprising. They've been entirely supportive ever since. They did make me start therapy, though, which was good. 

EDWARDS: I love his parents. 

SANCHEZ: What part of New Jersey are you from, Todd? 

EDWARDS: I grew up in Bloomfield, which borders Newark, New Jersey. It’s 20 minutes away from New York City. The only claim to fame that Bloomfield has... 

SANCHEZ: Aside from you. 

EDWARDS: Ha, right. The last scene of 'The Sopranos' was filmed in the ice cream parlor in our town. I used to work at the butcher shop across the street. 

SANCHEZ: Did you think you would stay in New Jersey forever? 

EDWARDS: Yes, mainly because of the path I was on in my faith. As an Italian, I watched my grandmother take care of her family, and I felt like I was going to be the caretaker, which I still think to a certain extent, and my parents are getting older. As the religious thing became so extreme in my life, I put everyone's happiness and needs before my own. I felt like that was my lot in life. When I went out to L.A. to work with Daft Punk, the pinnacle moment was my first week there. I'm on the phone with my mother, and she can hear in my voice how happy I am. I'm a mama's boy. She said, “There's nothing for you in New Jersey.” She told me, “You need to be near your peers, and I'll miss you if you go, but I'll feel worse if you stay.” Right there, she gave me her blessing to move. 

That summer, I packed up a U-Haul and drove across the country to L.A. I found myself out here. When I was younger, I was very overweight, and I ate my feelings. With every passing year out here, I got healthier and healthier. I think that reflects the inner peace, confidence, and self-love I didn't have before. Michael turned me on to the idea of a cosmic consciousness. Wherever you are, you get honed into the people you're around. 

SANCHEZ: And you guys have a rabbit? 

HORGAN: Two rabbits. Anubis and Q-Tip. 

EDWARDS: Our apartment complex does not allow dogs. We both wanted a dog, and we’re both allergic to cats. I knew someone from England who told me that her brother had a rabbit and they were brilliant. So I'm on Craigslist and text Michael some pictures of these bunnies. He's like, “Okay, let's do it.” 

I bought a little cage. We drive 45 minutes away. I forgot what town it was. Some young teenage girl with braces answers the door and brings out a litter of rabbits in a cage. They were so adorable. The first one that popped his head out, I'm like, I want that one! Michael chose one of the quieter ones. 

HORGAN: I knew she was in the back, like, don't pick me. 

EDWARDS: Q-Tip is pure white, like a cotton swab. Michael’s into Egyptian gods, so we gave him the name Anubis. They have brought so much joy to us. They know their names. They're litter-trained. They beg for treats. They're so fucking adorable. I show pictures of them like they're our kids. My mother refers to them as her grandchildren. They have ownership of a third of the apartment without paying rent. Now I have to show you pictures. 

SANCHEZ: Oh my god, they are the cutest! 

EDWARDS: I'm looking forward to fewer gaps in my schedule to make more money, although I'm the clingy boyfriend. When I go away for three weeks, after a couple of days, I'm like, I want to be back home with him and the rabbits. 

Living in L.A. is expensive, and I want to get us a house. A lot of people can only do this part-time. I'm thankful that I can still make a career out of it. At the heart of it, I'm a producer. I'm an artist. I want people to get into my music. I can play a whole set of other people's music, and I'm happy to get the crowd into that, but there's nothing better than playing a good portion of your music and having your audience love it. 

I just played Sneaky Pete's in Edinburgh, Scotland. 130 kids. They had the ‘Jesus Loves U.K. Garage’ t-shirts on. It was a strategic move for Defected Records to put out my back catalog this year because it relaunched my music to a younger audience. One of the things I want to do in the long term is get into film scoring. 

SANCHEZ: You'd be great at that. 

EDWARDS: There's so much in me that I still haven't tapped into and shown to the world. 

I spend so much time trying to stay afloat and hustling, but when you become highly successful, it's easy to get soft in your approach to things. You lose the passion. I'm a perfectionist, and that hustle keeps the creativity flowing. I am thankful for that. 

SANCHEZ: Michael, were you nervous about putting ‘Herbology’ out with Todd? 

HORGAN: Not really. I feel confident about the song. I made it for my family and friends, who all loved it. Finding my voice is fantastic because I never thought I could sing or write music. Todd gave me confidence, but I don't care what people think about me. It helped me. If it can help someone else, that's enough for me.